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Archive for the 'Signatures' Category

The First Thing We Do, Let’s Delete All the Lawyers

Published by Not Paul Begala on February 4, 2007 in Signatures and Sports. 3 Comments
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The greatest thing about the Internet is that the previous limitations of time and space have been thrown out the window. No more column inches to measure, or 2:30 segments to produce. Everyone can publish just about as much as they want.

But, the absolutely maddening part about this new found freedom is that some limitations were good!

I’ve been doing some fundraising work as of late and, naturally, I talk to lawyers. I got an email yesterday with 215 words in it only 58 of which were a message from the partner communicating with me.

This is the most ridiculous signature I’ve ever seen:

Notice from [LAWFIRM]: To comply with U.S. Treasury regulations, we advise you that any discussion of Federal tax issues in this communication was not intended or written to be used, and cannot be used, by any person (i) for the purpose of avoiding penalties that may be imposed by the Internal Revenue Service, or (ii) to promote, market or recommend to another party any matter addressed herein. This Internet message may contain information that is privileged, confidential, and exempt from disclosure. It is intended for use only by the person to whom it is addressed. If you have received this in error, please (1) do not forward or use this information in any way; and (2) contact me immediately. Neither this information block, the typed name of the sender, nor anything else in this message is intended to constitute an electronic signature unless a specific statement to the contrary is included in this message.

My favorite part is the, “if you received this in error… do not forward.”

Can I suggest a rewrite?

Despite the fact that I am too stupid to actually read who I’m sending emails to, no law in this country prevents you from forwarding this information, but I’m going to try and scare you with some legal mumbo jumbo.

If the lack of space limitations mean I’m going to get emails like this, at least make them funny.

Super Sunday Note: NPB will go with the experts out there: capitalism. Colts 27 – Bears 17.

Update: Just so nobody is confused by the Tradesports link up there, at the time I posted this, the Colts were trading at $6.80 out of $10, or a 68% chance of winning. To see how Tradesports works, click here.

Looks like the market was right, although if you check the history, the market thought the Bears were going to win after Devin Hester’s opening kickoff return for a touchdown.

Silly market.